Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
States of America will be outsourced to India as of April 15th, 2006.
The move is being made to save the President's $400,000 yearly salary
and also a record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and related
overhead the office has incurred during the last 5 years.
"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should be
significant," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). Reynolds, with
the aid of the Government Accounting Office, has studied outsourcing of
American jobs extensively. "We cannot expect to remain competitive on
the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.
Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination.
Preparations for the job move have been underway for sometime.
Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India, will be assuming
the office of President as of April 15th, 2006. Mr. Singh was born in
the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara
Falls, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a
salary of US $320 a month but with no health coverage or other benefits.
It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job
responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference
between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when
few offices of the US Government will be open. "Working nights will
allow me to keep my day job at the American Express call center," stated
Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this position.
I always hoped I would be president someday."
A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be
fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this
should not be a problem, because Bush was not familiar with the issues
either.
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