This was just so unusual, I felt like I had to put it up, despite not liking the tone all that much. But, maybe against my better judgement, here it is:

This is from a DC listserv I'm on that, among other things, runs something like the "I Saw You" ads in the Washington City Paper and elsewhere. If you're not familiar with them, someone would post one of these classified-like ads when they saw but didn't approach a cute guy or gal that the poster is still interested in.

Enough with the intro already! Here's the post and 'response':

6 -- To the tree that fell on my car - 29 (Capitol Hill)

Reply to:
Thu Aug 7th

I couldn't quite make out what type of tree you were because of the
way you shattered when you fell on my trusty Saab. But don't worry -- you
DID make quite an impression. I had just picked Saab-o up on Friday
after paying $1400 in repairs -- so your timing was impeccable. Had you
fallen in the same spot while my car was being repaired for that nasty
incident of my front right tire coming off the car while I was driving it
-- well, then, we never would have met.

I also thought the way that you fell on my car while I was attending
church on Sunday morning was a nice touch. Nothing says, "The world is
out to get you" like a tree falling on your car, smashing your
windshield, hood, roof and both (!) front doors while you are at worship.

It's cool, though, because I don't have many other exciting things
going on in my life -- like the mold and mildew that is keeping me from
sleeping in my own bedroom. I actually enjoy sleeping on the sofa on the
main floor with my roommate Loudy McLoud banging pots and pans around 10
feet away in the kitchen when she comes home drunk at 4:00 AM.

And that frantic apartment search was actually made easier by not
having a car. Oh wait, actually that's not true.

But, again, thanks for the introduction. Because I had to pay for
repairs for our little encounter, I wasn't able to go to LA for the premier
of my best friend's new movie or go see for the first time my six-month
old nephew in Denver. But it wasn't like I even wanted to do either of
those things, you know?

So, yeah, it was nice meeting you. And I hope things are well. If you
want to catch up, let me know. Maybe one of your buddies can, like, drop
by/into my house while I pack up and move.


it's NOT ok for trees to contact this poster unless they're just
offering fruit or shade. This is in or around Capitol Hill

The Response

11 -- From the Tree that fell on your car - 90 (wood chipper)

Reply to:
Thu Aug 7th

You know, it really rakes me the way you think I fell on your car
intentionally. That wasn't my doing. And now that I'm down, you want to
kick me? Take it easy buddy.

And since when do pornos have premieres? And don't worry about the
nephew - it's not really your brother's kid anyways.

By the way, all trees are Jewish - so we don't care that you were at
Church worshiping your false god. Now leaf me alone - you're barking up
the...well you know.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial
interests this is in or around wood chipper